Wednesday, March 19, 2014

Pregnancy Traditions Around the World?




lil' mama


I'm curious about different pregnancy traditions around the world. Being that there are different views of the "correct" things to do during pregnancy. I'm interested in knowing about how different foods, working, alcohol, etc. are viewed in different places around the world.


Answer
According to Chinese custom, a husband should carry his bride over a pan of burning coals when entering his home for the first time to ensure she will pass through labor successfully.

Once pregnant, a woman guards her thoughts. It is believed everything she does and sees will influence her unborn child. According to old Chinese tradition, what affects a woman's mind will also affect her heart and connect with the baby in utero. A pregnant woman reads good poetry -- she doesn't gossip, laugh loudly, sit on a crooked mat, look at clashing colors, or lose her temper. Many Chinese women will read beautiful stories before drifting off to sleep. And, sex is forbidden during pregnancy.

There are many ancient taboos regarding the food Chinese women eat during pregnancy. It's believed that if a pregnant woman eats food that's not properly cut or mashed, her child will have a careless disposition. Or if she eats light colored foods, the baby will be fair-skinned. Many also believe that no construction work should be done in the house of a pregnant women. Hammering and sawing could lead to an abortion or fetal deformities. And, pregnant women should never attend funerals. To scare away evil sprits, Chinese women may sleep with knives under their bed. Often a piece of paper cut to resemble a pair of scissors is hung from bed curtains and tiger skins are hung over the bed.

Many believe it is unlucky to throw a shower for an unborn baby. In China, the parties come after the little one arrives. The expectant mother's own mother buys the child's entire layette. A month before the baby is due, the maternal grandmother sends a package of clothing for her expectant daughter called tsue shen, or hastening the delivery. There is a white cloth inside the package with which to wrap the newborn. The maternal grandmother waits three days after the baby arrives before she visits the newborn bringing all her clothes and baby equipment.

Chinese women will often drink a strong herbal potion to ease the strain of labor. Custom dictates that women not fear the laboring process, since birth is considered a women's career to the ancient Chinese. Chinese women traditionally labor in an armchair or futon. Once the baby is born they will often pray to the goddess who helped them conceive with an offering of sweet meats and incense.

I was so sick during my first pregnancy, can I cope going through it again?




unbelied


During my pregnancy I was so sick. I was admitted to hospital with severe dehydration and basically was sick for the whole 9 months. It was a horrible experience. My husband and I have discussed having another baby - we just love our daughter and have a desire to have another, but in the back of my mind I really don't know if I can go through that again. I realise that it may not happen the second time around, but chances are it will, and then I would have to look after my daughter at the same time. How have other people come to the decision to have another? I feel selfish that I don't know if I can go through it again. 9 months is such a long time to be sick 24 hours of the day. I would love to know how others have coped.


Answer
You have my true sympathy. I was miserably sick all 9 months with my first pregnancy. I was not overweight and still lost 30 pounds in the first 3 months. I spent a lot of time on IVs. I got gestational diabetes and had to make myself eat, then check my blood sugar. I had to hope I could keep enough down to keep it under control. Then at the end my kidneys failed and I had to be induced. I am allergic to anesthesia, so I had to have her all natural, including the 40+ stitches afterwards with no meds at all! I honestly wasn't one of those moms who totally loved my baby the instant she was born, I had a bit of resentment from the pregnancy at first. I felt horrid about it and then got postpartum depression. All in all a horrid experience.

But then I wanted a second child. I did fall in love with her, and I really did want her to have a sibling. So I did it again. I won't lie, it was very hard. And to make matters worse I was in a really bad car wreck and had to spend about 8 weeks on bed rest. I hurt so bad and couldn't take anything to help and seriously wondered if it was worth it. Later in the pregnancy I had to spend 2 more months on bed rest due to another complication. I was VERY lucky to have a lot of friends and family who could come over and babysit my daughter and I. Again I had the gestational diabetes and morning sickness all 9 months, but it wasn't as bad the second time.

In the end I got my son. And I have to say he is worth it all. My kids are good friends and play together well, and both bring me so much joy. I think in terms of this, I spent 1.5 miserable years pregnant. VERY miserable. But I was rewarded so much with my amazing children and they love each other and bring me so much joy that it was a fair trade-off. A lifetime of joy for 1.5 years. But I will never do it again. Twice was hard enough.

Some things that really helped:
*I put her in preschool. She loved it, got used to being around other kids and sharing, her language skills improved when she had to make herself understood by others, and she got a jump learning all the kindergarten stuff. I felt bad at first, but she really enjoyed it. And I got a break. You can start with just a couple of mornings a week. I did MWF. It made a big difference. I would sometimes put her in for full days if I was in really bad shape or in the hospital. I was lucky to find a flexible preschool that way.
*I slept A LOT! While she was in school I would nap, try to eat a bit, lay around and nap some more. Resting really seemed to help with the morning sickness. I would notice when I was more tired, my stomach would be much sicker.
*I took family and friends up on their offers of help. If people offered to take her or watch her or bring us dinner, I accepted. I no longer felt it was an imposition and they were just offering. I accepted their pity and if pity motivated them to help me, so be it. I was glad of the help.
*I made my husband step up more. He had to cook diabetic meals for us. I really couldn't cook. Too much time by food made me unable to eat it. He would make big casseroles and I would microwave leftovers. If I ate before I had smelled food for too long then I didn't have a chance for smells to make me sicker and I had better luck.
*I hired a cleaning service. He wouldn't clean the toilets and honestly, if I did I never finished before I puked in it and it just made me miserable. This all fed into the getting more rest as well. I kept the house picked up, but they did the mopping, cleaned the restrooms, dusting, vacuuming, etc.
*I let go. I no longer worried about being perfect and getting it all done. I was late to things, I didn't go sometimes, I didn't worry as much about my appearance. Less stress on myself. And I found that things were still ok and people understood.

And finally, you CAN do it. Now that you understand more the reward at the end it is easier the second time. And you have had 9 mo experience to figure out things that worked better for you. Plus, there are some new and better anti-nausea medications out there now that they can safely give pregnant women. Talk to your doctor, express your concerns. At least this time you know what you might be up against. Last time it was a surprise, next time you can be prepared.




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